Divorce is a topic that many shy away from, especially later in life. But for Nanette Murphy, a certified divorce and life reinvention coach, it has become both her lived experience and her mission to help others navigate it with courage, clarity, and purpose.
In a recent episode of 60 Plus Uncensored, I sat down with Nanette to talk about what it means to go through a “gray divorce” — a divorce later in life, often after decades of marriage — and how she’s working to change the narrative around it.
From Ontario to Michigan to California — and Back Again
Nanette grew up in Windsor, Ontario, right across the river from Detroit. Her journey took her to Michigan in the early 1990s when her then-husband, a computer programmer, moved for work. Eventually, they landed in California during the dot-com boom, living in Sausalito and experiencing what she calls their “Cinderella story” of building and selling a business.
But life wasn’t all glossy success. After 21 years of marriage, Nanette’s world was upended by infidelity. As she puts it, borrowing from Princess Diana, “It’s pretty crowded when there are three people in a marriage.” The years that followed were marked by emotional turmoil, financial complexity, and the struggle to redefine herself as a woman approaching 50.
Surviving a Gray Divorce
Nanette is candid about the pain she endured: the “divorce brain” fog, the sense of being debilitated, the desperate Google searches for “how to save my marriage.” Back then, she believed her only option was to find a lawyer and brace herself for a battle. Looking back, she wishes she’d had access to the kind of coaching and support networks that exist today.
She explains that divorce is not just a legal process — it’s an emotional, financial, and identity-shattering journey. That’s why she now helps clients build a “team” that might include attorneys, therapists, and Certified Divorce Financial Advisors (CDFAs), who are trained to address the unique financial challenges of divorce.
Reinvention Through Coaching
In 2020, like many of us, Nanette found herself restless during the pandemic. After taking Yale University’s popular Science of Well-Being course, discovering the work of Dr. Michael Beckwith, and exploring personal growth programs through Mindvalley, she realized that her path forward lay in helping others. She became a certified life coach, health coach, and ultimately, a divorce coach specializing in women over 40.
Her mission is to provide clarity in chaos, emotional support in times of despair, and guidance toward reinvention. She emphasizes that healing is an active process: “No fairy dust is going to sprinkle down on you and magically make you a whole new person. You have to work at it.”
Shattered Dreams and New Beginnings
Nanette’s story and lessons are captured in her book, Shattered Dreams and New Beginnings: A Journey of Pain, Healing, and Growth. Available on Amazon, the book chronicles her journey from a small-town girl in Ontario to a woman who redefined herself after heartbreak. If you order directly through her, she’ll even sign a copy and mail it to you personally.
She also offers resources on her website — LiveLifeNowWithPurpose.com — including a guided journal to help those going through divorce, self-care guides, and other tools to aid in reflection and healing.
Life After 60: Just Getting Started
Now remarried and thriving in her 60s, Nanette is passionate about showing others that life doesn’t end with divorce — it begins again. One of her favorite quotes sums it up beautifully:
“Life really does begin at 40, because until then you’re just doing research.”
Nanette embodies this idea, living proof that even after devastating loss, it’s possible to find new purpose, joy, and fulfillment.
Final Thoughts
For those contemplating divorce or already in the midst of one, especially later in life, Nanette’s story is a reminder that you don’t have to go through it alone. With the right guidance, support, and mindset, divorce can be not just an ending, but the start of a new chapter filled with possibility.
To learn more about Nanette’s coaching, resources, or to grab a signed copy of her book, visit LiveLifeNowWithPurpose.com.
And if you’d like to hear the full conversation, check out her appearance on 60 Plus Uncensored — because life after 60 isn’t winding down, it’s just revving up.