In this episode of 60 Plus Uncensored, host Seb Frey sits down with Dr. Corinne Auman, a developmental psychologist, educator, and care management expert who spends her days helping older adults and their families navigate one of life’s most complex transitions. Through her care management agency in North Carolina, Dr. Auman works closely with individuals and families facing questions about aging, caregiving, independence, and long-term planning. Her experience supporting real families through real decisions has led her to challenge many of the assumptions we carry about growing older. As people live longer and remain active later in life, the traditional narrative about aging no longer fully reflects reality. In this thoughtful conversation, Seb and Dr. Auman explore the changing landscape of caregiving, the emotional barriers around senior living decisions, the importance of community and social connection, and how the way we think about aging can significantly shape the way we experience it.
A Changing Reality: Who Is Caring for Whom?
When Dr. Auman first began her care management practice, she expected most of her clients would follow a familiar pattern: middle-aged adults caring for parents in their seventies or eighties. Instead, she found that the caregiving landscape had already begun to shift in surprising ways. Increasingly, she works with individuals in their seventies who are caring for parents in their nineties or even beyond. Longer life expectancy has created a new dynamic where caregiving responsibilities extend further into later life than many families anticipated.
Dr. Auman shares a memorable example that illustrates this shift clearly. She once encountered a situation involving a 101-year-old mother living with her 78-year-old son, and the discussion wasn’t simply about whether the mother should move into assisted living. The real question was whether both of them should consider moving. Situations like this highlight how dramatically longevity has changed family structures and responsibilities. Caregiving is no longer a short period near the end of life. For many families, it has become an extended phase that overlaps with the caregiver’s own aging process. This reality requires a different kind of planning, one that acknowledges the needs and limitations of multiple generations at the same time.
Families navigating longer lifespans often find themselves balancing multiple generations at once, which makes planning ahead essential. Resources like The Family Meeting Guide to Emergency Planning: Essential Paperwork for Aging Parents can help families organize important conversations and documents before a crisis occurs.
Why Many Older Adults Resist Senior Living
One of the most common moments Dr. Auman encounters in her work arises when families begin discussing the possibility of senior living communities. A parent may be experiencing increasing difficulty managing daily tasks or facing greater safety risks at home, and the family gently suggests exploring options like senior apartments or assisted living. Often, the response is immediate and surprisingly firm: “I don’t want to go live with those old people.”
Dr. Auman recalls hearing this exact statement from a 93-year-old woman, a moment that perfectly captures how people often think about aging. Many individuals do not identify themselves as “old,” even when they have reached later decades of life. Internally, they still feel like the same person they have always been. Seb Frey notes that many older adults say that in their minds they still feel young, sometimes even like the person they were in early adulthood. When they look in the mirror, they may see the passage of time, but internally, their identity has not changed.
This disconnect can make the idea of moving into a senior community feel unsettling. The resistance is rarely about the building itself; it is often about what the move seems to symbolize. Accepting that option may feel like accepting a label people have spent their lives trying to avoid. Understanding that emotional layer can help families approach these conversations with more patience and empathy.
When families begin discussing a potential move, it can help to understand the practical and emotional factors involved, and guides such as How to Know When Your Parents Need to Move Into Assisted Living offer helpful insights into recognizing when additional support may truly improve safety and quality of life.
The Value of a Neutral Perspective
Family discussions about aging and care decisions can become emotionally complicated very quickly. Adult children may worry about safety and long-term well-being, while older parents often worry about losing independence. Different siblings may have different opinions about what should happen next, and these disagreements can create tension within families.
This is where care managers can provide meaningful support. Dr. Auman explains that care managers serve as neutral third parties who can help families evaluate their situation more objectively. Because they are not emotionally entangled in the family dynamic, they can focus on presenting the facts and helping everyone understand the available options.
A care manager might outline the benefits and drawbacks of staying at home versus moving into a community setting. They may help assess safety concerns, healthcare needs, financial considerations, and personal preferences. Their goal is not to force a particular outcome but to help families reach a decision that reflects both the practical realities and the individual’s wishes.
Dr. Auman emphasizes that people cannot be pressured into these decisions. When someone feels pushed, they often become more resistant. Instead, successful conversations tend to involve honesty, patience, and sometimes even a bit of humor. When people feel respected and included in the decision-making process, they are far more likely to remain open to exploring new possibilities.
For families trying to weigh complex care decisions, it can be useful to understand the broader landscape of options, and Senior Living 101: Everything Families Need to Know About Senior Living Options provides a helpful overview of the different types of communities and services available.
The Social Side of Aging Well
One aspect of aging that families sometimes overlook is the importance of regular social interaction. When older adults remain at home, their social world can gradually become smaller. Mobility challenges, transportation limitations, and health concerns can make it harder to leave the house or participate in activities that once felt routine. Over time, the home that once provided comfort and familiarity can begin to feel isolating.
Senior living communities can help address this issue by creating environments where social connection is part of daily life. Shared meals, group activities, outings, and casual conversations with neighbors all provide opportunities for interaction. These moments of connection may seem simple, but they can significantly improve emotional well-being and overall quality of life.
Dr. Auman notes that many people who move into these communities discover unexpected benefits. Without the responsibility of maintaining a house or managing constant repairs and chores, they often have more time and energy to focus on activities they enjoy. Interestingly, she rarely hears someone say they moved into a community too early. Far more commonly, people say they wish they had made the move sooner.
Social connection often improves dramatically in well-designed communities, which is why many families explore Best Active Adult Communities in the United States when considering environments that encourage daily interaction, activities, and meaningful relationships.
Aging Does Not Change Who You Are
One of Dr. Auman’s most important insights is that aging does not fundamentally change a person’s identity. Older adults are not suddenly transformed into a completely different kind of person. They remain the same individuals who built careers, raised families, developed interests, and formed relationships throughout their lives.
However, society often treats older adults as a single category rather than recognizing their individuality. This tendency can lead to stereotypes that overlook the diverse experiences and personalities within this stage of life. Dr. Auman encourages people to remember that older adults still have goals, preferences, humor, and curiosity.
If we want to be treated with dignity and individuality when we reach those later years ourselves, we need to begin extending that same respect to older adults now. Viewing aging through a more human and individualized lens can transform the way families approach caregiving and support.
The Powerful Role of Mindset
Throughout her work, Dr. Auman has noticed that the way people think about aging often influences how they experience it. Some individuals approach aging with fear and negativity, assuming that decline is inevitable. When people hold this mindset, they may avoid planning for the future, neglect their health, or postpone important conversations.
Others approach aging with curiosity and intention. These individuals tend to prepare for the years ahead, explore their options, and remain engaged in activities that support both physical and mental well-being. This difference in outlook can have a meaningful impact over time.
Research supports these observations. Studies have shown that people who maintain a positive perspective about aging tend to live longer and experience better health outcomes. The explanation is not mystical; mindset often influences behavior. People who believe their later years can still be meaningful are more likely to invest in habits that support their well-being.
Lifelong Learning and the Brain
Seb Frey brings up the concept of neuroplasticity during the conversation, referring to the brain’s ability to continue forming new connections throughout life. For many years, scientists believed that the brain stopped developing after early adulthood. Modern research has since shown that this assumption was incorrect.
Dr. Auman explains that the brain remains capable of learning and adapting well into older age. People can continue developing new skills, forming new habits, and building new patterns of thinking throughout their lives. While the process may take more time than it does in youth, the ability to learn and grow remains present.
This understanding challenges the outdated belief that older adults cannot change or learn new things. In reality, the brain continues responding to experiences, challenges, and opportunities across the lifespan. Recognizing this capacity can encourage people to remain curious and engaged, regardless of age.
The brain’s ability to adapt and grow throughout life highlights why staying mentally engaged matters, and studies discussed in The Science of Staying Sharp: How to Keep Your Brain Young After 60 explain how continued learning and stimulation support cognitive health.
Recognizing Ageism in Everyday Language
Another theme Dr. Auman highlights is the subtle influence of ageism in everyday language and cultural messaging. Ageist attitudes often appear in small ways—jokes about getting older, birthday cards that portray aging as decline, or casual comments suggesting that older adults are out of touch.
Over time, these messages shape how people imagine their own future. Dr. Auman encourages people to begin noticing these patterns and questioning whether they truly reflect reality. Are these ideas based on real experiences, or are they simply cultural habits that have been repeated for decades?
She also suggests paying attention to personal thoughts. When someone catches themselves thinking “I’m too old to do that,” it may be helpful to pause and ask whether the statement reflects an actual limitation or simply a stereotype that has been internalized.
Language has a powerful influence on perception, and changing the way we talk about aging can gradually change the way we think about it as well.
Shifting the way we think and talk about aging can have a powerful effect on well-being, and articles like How to Stay Positive and Motivated as You Age explore practical ways mindset and perspective can influence the experience of later life.
Adaptation and Resilience
Aging inevitably brings physical changes, and some activities may become more challenging over time. However, Dr. Auman emphasizes that older adults are often remarkably adaptable. When people encounter new limitations, they frequently find creative ways to adjust their routines and maintain meaningful activities.
Someone who once loved running might begin swimming or walking instead. Someone who can no longer travel long distances may discover new interests within their local community. These adjustments allow people to remain engaged with life even as circumstances change.
Research also suggests that happiness can follow a surprising pattern across the lifespan. Some studies describe a “U-shaped curve” in which well-being increases again in the sixties and seventies after the pressures of midlife. For many individuals, later years bring greater clarity about priorities and fewer external pressures, allowing them to focus on what truly matters.
The Idea Behind “Keenagers”
Dr. Auman’s book introduces the concept of “keenagers,” a term meant to challenge traditional ideas about aging. The word “keen” reflects enthusiasm, curiosity, and a strong interest in life. By combining that concept with aging, she highlights the vitality many older adults continue to demonstrate.
Many people in their sixties, seventies, and beyond remain deeply engaged in meaningful pursuits. They may start new businesses, volunteer in their communities, mentor younger generations, or pursue creative interests that bring fulfillment. The idea of keenagers emphasizes that later life can still include exploration, growth, and contribution.
This reframing helps shift the conversation away from decline and toward possibility. It encourages people to view aging as another stage of development rather than an endpoint.
Supporting Aging Parents When You Are Aging Too
As life expectancy continues to increase, it is becoming more common for older adults to care for parents who are even older. This situation can create unique challenges, particularly when caregivers are also experiencing their own health changes or limitations.
Dr. Auman emphasizes that every situation is different, and there is no universal solution. Some individuals in their nineties remain active and independent, while others require significant support. The key consideration is always quality of life.
Families can benefit from exploring local resources, community programs, and professional guidance when needed. Care managers and aging specialists often have knowledge of services that families might not discover on their own. Seeking help can reduce stress and ensure that everyone involved receives the support they need.
Many families in this situation benefit from understanding the full range of care options, and What Sixty Plus Families Need to Know About Home Care and Assisted Living provides a helpful overview of services that can support both older adults and their caregivers.
Looking Ahead
As technology continues to evolve, it will likely play a growing role in helping people navigate aging-related challenges. Artificial intelligence and digital tools may assist families in finding information and connecting with services more easily.
However, Dr. Auman believes that caregiving will always retain an important human element. Providing emotional support, understanding individual needs, and advocating for someone during complex situations requires empathy and personal connection. While technology can enhance certain aspects of care, the human relationship will remain central.
Conclusion: Reframing Aging as a Stage of Growth, Not Decline
The conversation between Seb Frey and Dr. Corinne Auman offers a thoughtful reminder that aging is not a sudden transformation into a different kind of person. It is simply a continuation of life, shaped by the choices, attitudes, and relationships we cultivate along the way. People remain curious, adaptable, and capable of meaningful contributions throughout their later years.
By questioning outdated stereotypes and approaching aging with openness, individuals and families can create more supportive and fulfilling experiences for the years ahead. Aging may bring challenges, but it can also bring clarity, connection, and new opportunities for growth. Changing the story we tell about aging today may ultimately help all of us experience those years with greater confidence and purpose.