Joan’s work focuses on the five pillars of well-being: physical, emotional, spiritual, social, and financial, and her mission is simple yet profound: to help people thrive, not just survive, through life’s later transitions.
In this heartfelt conversation, Joan opens up about her personal caregiving journey, what she learned the hard way, and how she now empowers others to care for aging loved ones without losing themselves in the process.
From Tragedy to Purpose
Joan’s journey began in Washington, D.C., where she grew up in a close-knit family. She later moved across the country for work, building a career in library and information science and the IT industry before finding her calling in senior advocacy.
Her life took a sudden turn after a devastating personal loss: her younger brother Joe, one of the postal workers killed during the 2001 anthrax attacks, died at just 47.
“That changed everything,” Joan recalls. “It made me think deeply about how fragile life is, and how we care for each other matters.”
Then, in 2010, she received a call that would once again alter the course of her life.
Her 80-year-old father had been in a serious car accident, rear-ended by a school bus in D.C. and airlifted to the hospital. With her mother and sister already gone, Joan and her husband, Les, made a life-changing decision: they would bring her father across the country to live with them in California.
“Our lives as we knew them would never be the same,” Joan said. “But we did it out of love.”
The Cross-Country Caregiver
The four-and-a-half-day drive from Washington, D.C. to San Jose, California, was grueling. Joan’s father was confused, disoriented, and suffering from what doctors later diagnosed as sundowning syndrome, a condition common among people with dementia where confusion and agitation worsen as the day goes on.
“He kept folding and refolding his clothes at night,” Joan remembered. “We had no idea what was happening.”
When they arrived in California, the real caregiving began, and so did Joan’s education in the realities of elder care.
“I had no experience,” she admitted. “I learned everything on the fly.”
From managing his medications to navigating insurance and hospital systems, Joan quickly realized how unprepared most families are for caregiving, especially when it happens suddenly.
Learning to Set Boundaries (Without the Guilt)
One of Joan’s biggest lessons, and later one of her most important teachings, was the necessity of healthy boundaries.
“I learned the hard way,” she said. “Caregiving can consume you if you let it.”
Her first book, Healthy Boundaries for the Family Caregiver: Setting Limits with Love and Respect, grew out of her own struggle to balance compassion with self-preservation.
“Boundaries aren’t walls,” she explains. “They’re bridges, ways to connect while still protecting yourself.”
She shared one difficult story from her caregiving journey:
“My father, who never once cursed at me in his life, suddenly lashed out and told me to ‘get the hell out.’ I was devastated. But later, I learned that this was the dementia talking, not my dad.”
That moment inspired Joan to teach others that guilt has no place in caregiving, and that saying no or not now can be an act of love, not selfishness.
For a practical guide that helps families prepare important documents before crisis hits, explore The Family Meeting Guide to Emergency Planning: Essential Paperwork for Aging Parents.
Building a New Mission: Balanced Abundant Living
After her father passed away in 2013, Joan’s purpose became crystal clear. She wanted to help other caregivers avoid the confusion and emotional burnout she had experienced.
She launched Balanced Abundant Living, a company and website dedicated to providing credible, vetted caregiving resources for families. Her site, balancedabundantliving.com, has become a go-to hub for education, encouragement, and empowerment for caregivers across the country.
Joan also began writing, authoring a series of books including:
- Healthy Boundaries for the Family Caregiver
- Abundant Aging in Place: How to Be Better Prepared for the Best Phase of Your Life
- The Connected Caregiver: A Guide for Long-Distance Caregiving
And most recently, she developed an online course on Healthy Boundaries, a self-paced resource available on Thinkific that provides scripts, scenarios, and step-by-step tools for setting boundaries in caregiving relationships.
“It’s about helping people realize they’re not alone,” she says. “Caregiving isn’t just about sacrifice, it’s about sustainability.”
Many caregivers eventually realize that true peace comes from having a plan. To see how that preparation can protect both caregivers and loved ones, read Gathering the Documents You Need to Create a Living Trust.
The Power of Preparation
Joan stresses one recurring theme: be proactive, not reactive.
“We’re all going to be caregivers, need caregivers, or both,” she reminds listeners.
Her advice for getting prepared includes:
🧭 1. Know Your Resources
- The Alzheimer’s Association offers free 24/7 support and education for all forms of dementia, not just Alzheimer’s.
- The Eldercare Locator (eldercare.acl.gov) helps families find local services by ZIP code.
- AARP, Visiting Angels, and Home Instead provide practical caregiving and aging-in-place guidance.
🧩 2. Understand Your Options
Non-medical home care agencies can provide respite and support. Licensed, bonded caregivers (often certified nursing assistants) can help with daily activities, companionship, and safety.
💰 3. Review Financial and Legal Protections
- Establish Power of Attorney (POA) for healthcare and finances.
- Look into long-term care insurance or veteran benefits through the VA.
- Create or update wills and living trusts early.
“These conversations can be uncomfortable,” Joan says. “But they’re a gift to your loved ones. You’re giving them clarity when they’ll need it most.”
Joan reminds us that aging well requires both emotional readiness and smart planning. For a deeper look at how to design your home and life for independence, check out Smart Guide to Aging in Place: A Practical, Data-Driven Playbook.
The Connected Caregiver: Supporting from a Distance
Joan knows that not every family can live under one roof, which is why her third book, The Connected Caregiver, focuses on long-distance caregiving.
Her top recommendation?
“Hire a Geriatric Care Manager, they’re like an advocate or concierge for your loved one.”
These professionals help coordinate appointments, manage medications, and even evaluate living arrangements.
“It’s like having your eyes and ears on the ground,” Joan explains. “They’re worth every penny.”
She also encourages families to use digital tools, shared calendars, group chats, and online care logs, to coordinate responsibilities and keep everyone informed.
Long-distance caregiving can be overwhelming, but technology is making it easier than ever to stay involved. Learn how modern tools and apps simplify family coordination in Connected Home Living: How Technology is Transforming Senior Care and Aging in Place.
What It Means to “Age Abundantly”
Joan’s second book, Abundant Aging in Place, reframes the way we think about aging, not as decline, but as opportunity.
“Abundant aging means living fully, wherever you are,” she says.
It’s built on five pillars of wellness:
- Physical — Stay active with walking, cycling, or even indoor workouts.
- Emotional — Seek connection, laughter, and purpose.
- Spiritual — Stay grounded in gratitude or faith.
- Social — Build community; isolation is dangerous to health.
- Financial — Manage your resources wisely; abundance is a mindset, not a dollar amount.
“Aging in place isn’t just about staying put, it’s about thriving where you are.”
Joan’s five pillars of well-being mirror what research shows about longevity and happiness. For stories and lessons from people who embody this mindset, visit Secrets of Super-Agers: Wisdom From People in Their 80s and 90s.
A Life of Movement, Mindfulness, and Meaning
At 69, Joan practices what she preaches. She and her husband Les, now in his 70s, live an active, joyful life in Maryland. They cycle up to 30 miles at a time, hike regularly, and stay mentally sharp with reading, writing, and puzzles.
“Self-care isn’t selfish,” she says. “You can’t pour from an empty vessel.”
Her secret to vitality?
- Regular exercise (even at home, she has a Peloton, treadmill, and elliptical).
- Balanced eating (“I’m a Southern girl, I love collard greens, but not every day!”).
- Staying engaged in life, through community, learning, and giving back.
“If your health is jacked up,” she says with a laugh, “how are you going to help anyone else?”
Staying active and engaged is key to thriving later in life. For inspiration and simple routines, read The Best Low-Impact Exercises for Adults Over 60.
Joan’s Call to Action: Thrive, Don’t Just Survive
As the conversation wrapped up, Joan left listeners with this heartfelt reminder:
“Caregiving isn’t a solo act, it’s a shared human experience. Ask for help, take care of yourself, and remember: you’re doing sacred work.”
She believes the best years aren’t behind us, they’re here, right now, waiting to be lived abundantly.
Joan’s philosophy captures the heart of purposeful aging, to live with balance, grace, and joy. Discover more ways to create meaning and connection in When Retirement Feels Too Small: How to Reclaim Purpose, Connection, and Joy.
Connect with Joan Jackson
🌐 Website: BalancedAbundantLiving.com
📚 Books: Available on Amazon — Healthy Boundaries for the Family Caregiver, Abundant Aging in Place, and The Connected Caregiver
🎧 Podcast: Balanced Abundant Living
📩 Email: joan@balancedabundantliving.com