Most of us have heard of a reverse mortgage, and for many, the phrase alone raises eyebrows or even skepticism. But few people can explain it with warmth, humor, and wisdom like Don Graves, a nationally recognized educator and author who has spent 26 years teaching people about using home equity responsibly in retirement.
When host Seb Frey met Don at the Society for Certified Senior Advisors Conference in Baltimore, he was struck by Don’s charisma, humor, and gift for connection. “He had the whole room laughing,” Seb said. “It was one of the best sessions I’ve ever seen.”
In this inspiring conversation, Don shares not only the facts about reverse mortgages but also the deeply personal story of his Kentucky roots, the lessons of responsibility from his father, his own path from ministry to finance, and how hardship, faith, and gratitude shaped his life and mission.
Kentucky Roots: Hardship, Faith, and Family
Don’s story begins in Falmouth, Kentucky, a small town shaped by community, resilience, and hard work. His parents, his father from Falmouth, his mother from Winchester, raised four children with strong faith and discipline.
When Don’s father moved the family north to Cincinnati, Ohio, he joined the wave of Black families migrating for better work and opportunity. Cincinnati, with major employers like General Electric, Procter & Gamble, and Kroger, offered hope for upward mobility.
Don’s father, a man with just an eighth-grade education, became an inspector of jet engines for General Electric, an extraordinary accomplishment for a Black man in that era. “He lied about his age and joined the Navy at 15,” Don said. “He never talked about what he saw in World War II, but he came out of it with an unshakable sense of responsibility.”
His father’s lessons were clear:
- Honor God and your word.
- Pay your bills on time.
- Take care of your family.
- Leave a legacy greater than money.
“People ask if my dad left me money,” Don recalled. “He didn’t. He left me something better, character, purpose, and the drive to build something lasting.”
This, Don says, is true generational wealth. Not just dollars, but discipline, values, and a mindset that endures through generations.
A Defining Moment: Surviving the Tornado
Don’s grandmother, whom he affectionately calls “Grandmommy”, played a central role in his family’s faith and survival. One story from his Kentucky childhood stands out.
In the late 1960s, a massive F5 tornado tore through Falmouth. His grandmother sensed danger before anyone else, no sirens, no warnings, and ran outside screaming, “Twister’s coming!”
She and her grandchildren huddled in the kitchen, clutching the sink as the house ripped apart. When it was over, everything was gone except that sink, his grandmother, and the kids holding onto her.
“That story became a parable in our family,” Don said. “When the storms of life hit, hold on. Don’t let go.”
Lessons from a Father and Mother
From his father, Don learned responsibility and self-discipline. From his mother, affectionately called “Nip”, he learned boundaries and integrity.
“Nip” came from a family of heavy drinkers, but she made a generational choice: she would never touch alcohol.
“Everybody drank,” Don said, “but my mom said no. That decision changed everything. That’s what generational wealth looks like, saying ‘no’ to something destructive so your kids can say ‘yes’ to something better.”
Faith, laughter, and gratitude were constant themes in their household. Even when money was tight, joy was abundant.
Building generational wealth often means understanding the full value of your assets. For another underused option, read Cashing Out Your Life Insurance Policy: A Complete Guide.
Moving North: A New Chapter in Philadelphia
By 1985, Don wanted to see the world beyond Kentucky and Ohio. His sister, a Ph.D. and his lifelong mentor, encouraged him to head east. After a few twists and turns, he landed at Temple University in Philadelphia to study business and economics.
Philadelphia was no small adjustment. Within his first week, Don was mugged on the subway. “We had no business being there at midnight,” he laughed. “We looked like tourists saying, ‘Oh look, that’s a funny sign!’ Lesson learned.”
But the city toughened him, and he finished his degree, eventually. His father-in-law played a key role in shaping that discipline.
“When I wanted to marry my wife,” Don said, “he asked if I had a job and a degree. I said no. He said, ‘Then you don’t have my blessing.’”
Motivated by love and respect, Don buckled down, completed his degree, and got his first job at Cigna Insurance.
“That experience taught me to complete the circle,” Don said. “It’s not enough to start something. Finish it.”
From Ministry to Money
In college, Don led a thriving campus ministry. Later, he worked full-time mentoring students, even leading trips to Russia and Africa. He then planted a church near the University of Pennsylvania and later became CEO of Habitat for Humanity in Philadelphia, where he learned the realities of poverty, housing, and hope.
“Some people make bad choices,” he said. “Others just got dealt a bad hand. Either way, they deserve dignity and opportunity.”
These experiences shaped his understanding of money and human potential, lessons that would later inform his career in finance.
Discovering Reverse Mortgages
Don never planned to enter the mortgage industry. In fact, when his sister, a financial professional, first mentioned reverse mortgages, he laughed.
“I told her, ‘You take old people’s houses? You’re going to jail!’”
But when a flooded basement and a $20,000 repair bill hit home, he realized his sister was right: he had income, but no savings, no safety net, no wealth.
He decided to investigate. Don spoke with HUD counselors, Fannie Mae representatives, and local housing agencies. To his surprise, he found no hidden tricks, just a misunderstood financial tool that could help retirees stay in their homes with dignity.
“It’s not for everyone,” Don said. “But for the right person, it can make a world of difference.”
In 2000, he joined the industry, and 26 years later, he’s become one of its most trusted educators and advocates.
If you’d like a clear, jargon-free breakdown of how these loans actually work, don’t miss A Quick Guide on Reverse Mortgages for Seasoned Homeowners.
The Housing Wealth Institute: Educating, Not Selling
Out of his passion for truth and education, Don founded the Housing Wealth Institute, an independent platform offering clear, unbiased information about home equity and retirement.
He also created the Housing Wealth Masterclass, a free, 47-minute educational video that helps people understand how reverse mortgages work, without pressure or sales tactics.
“If it’s not for you, don’t call me,” Don says with a smile. “But at least know what’s possible. You might help your parents, your neighbor, or someone in your church.”
You can explore the course at HousingWealthMasterclass.com or find articles at HousingWealthInstitute.com.
For more strategies to make your home work for you in retirement, explore Unlocking Home Equity for Seniors: How Older Adults Can Thrive Financially.
Redefining Generational Wealth
Don’s message about generational wealth goes far beyond bank accounts.
True wealth, he says, is about values, vision, and virtue:
- Teaching responsibility over entitlement
- Modeling gratitude over complaint
- Choosing faith and family over fear and failure
- Building character before chasing cash
“Generational wealth isn’t what you leave for your children,” Don says. “It’s what you leave in them.”
Seeds, Soil, and Success: Don’s Marketing Philosophy
When asked about his impressive marketing, the newsletters, videos, and online presence, Don laughs.
“I never had a coach,” he says. “I just learn from people who do it well. Success leaves clues.”
He compares marketing to farming:
- Sow good seed: Your product, your message, your integrity.
- Tend the soil: Build relationships, stay consistent.
- Expect seasons: Some efforts fail, others flourish, but never stop planting.
He quotes an old parable: “You reap what you sow, not good or bad, just truth.”
The Power of Education and Humility
After 16,000 consumer conversations and 3,000 successful reverse mortgage closings, Don says his proudest metric is the 13,000 people he told “no.”
“I’d rather you say this isn’t right for you than regret it later. That’s how you build trust.”
His approach is refreshingly simple:
- No hard sells.
- No scare tactics.
- Just education, empathy, and ethics.
Faith and Purpose in Every Chapter
Through all his career shifts, from pastor to nonprofit leader to financial educator, one theme stays constant: faith.
“I believe my work is ministry,” Don says. “I’m helping people make wise decisions, remove fear, and live with dignity. That’s sacred work.”
And like his grandmother holding the sink in the storm, Don teaches others to hold on, through faith, through challenges, through the uncertainty of retirement.
Don’s story echoes a broader truth about longevity and purpose. For more inspiring examples, see Secrets of Super-Agers: Wisdom From People in Their 80s and 90s.
How to Connect with Don
If you’d like to learn more, reach out to Don directly:
- 📧 Email: askdongraves@gmail.com
- 🌐 Website: HousingWealthMasterclass.com
- ☎️ Phone: 1-800-762-6315
“We won’t call you,” he jokes. “But if you call us, we’ll be happy to help.”
Conclusion: Building True Wealth That Lasts
Don Graves’ story reminds us that real wealth isn’t measured in dollars, it’s measured in discipline, gratitude, and love. From a Kentucky boy who watched his grandmother save her family from a tornado to a national voice helping older adults navigate financial storms, Don embodies what he teaches:
- Faith under pressure
- Humor through hardship
- Purpose over profit
If you remember one thing from Don’s story, let it be this:
“Generational wealth isn’t just what you leave behind, it’s who you raise up while you’re here.”
And maybe, like Don’s father taught him, the best inheritance we can leave is not money, but a legacy of courage, compassion, and character.
True wealth isn’t just financial, it’s also emotional and spiritual. For ideas on how to rediscover meaning later in life, read When Retirement Feels Too Small: How to Reclaim Purpose, Connection, and Joy.